Apr 17, 2014

Anything, But Not Everything

The last 3 years and 10 months since my dad passed away have been a whirlwind. I can't think of any other way to describe it than that. After the initial shock that he was gone, I set out to take on everything that he had going on. Running the insurance agency, managing the properties, living in his house, keeping an eye on my Grammy, this and that. In between all that and now, I finished college a semester early, got married before my last semester, bought a house and had a baby. To say that I've had a lot going on would be an understatement. I wouldn't change a single decision that I've made, but I don't want to keep juggling it all because it is all catching up with me. I've literally worried myself sick over some of this over the last week and a half. I can't do that anymore.

I found this quote on Pinterest a couple of years ago. Sure it made sense to me at the time, but at that point I was most likely a newlywed just managing the agency and didn't have too much to worry about. Now though? Well I'm a wife and mother with a house payment, bills and not enough hours in the day. Towards the end of my pregnancy I started to learn how to ask for help because you have too when you're put on modified bed rest. Right now I have nothing forcing me to ask for help and its not that I really need help with anything. What I need is to simplify things.

Things aren't the same as they were when my dad was here, and I need to just come to terms with that. I can't be the parent, insurance agent, business owner, coach, landlord, child, sibling, or 100% badass that he was. At least not yet. I have such a hard time remembering that I'm only 24 when I have all these very grown up things to deal with.

My goal is to only be these things at the end of the year: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, insurance agent, and only have 3 properties as opposed to the 6 we have now. The list isn't that different from what I do now, but it cuts out unnecessary  headaches and some pressure.

Hopefully when my mind is clear, I can focus more on the important things in life and worry less about everything.

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