An Update

On breastfeeding.

When left off last week, I said that I was going to give it until 3 months to see some change and until 4 months to throw in the towel on nursing before I went to exclusively pumping. I kind of lied.

Friday we went to support group (and I was the only person there... totally fine with that). I was telling the lactation consultant about my concerns and updating her on what had happened since the last time I saw her, which was about 3 weeks prior. After I rambled on about all that, she basically said she wouldn't blame me for pumping only. I thought about it on the way home and then bounced my thoughts around to my mom, where she said the same thing.

Here are my concerns/pros for pumping only.
- Its one of the 2 really busy times at work for me. All of my business has to be sold for the year by March 15th. I don't have countless hours at night to nurse. I need sleep.
- I thrive on routine. Actually, if I deviate from a routine, I get all ADD and nothing gets done. Pumping and doing bottles only will get Tucker on more of a schedule then I can start being my OCD self about the nightly routine for all of us.
- I will have more time for housework. All I read on exclusively pumping is that it takes so much more work/time. You know what else takes a lot of work? Nursing your kid until your nipples feel like they are going to fall off and then having to sit with your pump for another 20 minutes because he didn't eat enough to make you comfortable. Oh, and when you're done pumping, he wakes up because he wants a bottle and then you have to get the milk you just pumped in the fridge and rinse your parts out. Take out the nursing marathon and you're down to just 25-30 minutes of work rather than an hour.
- With the weight gain issues Tucker had in the beginning, making sure he gets enough to eat is important. Bottles allow us to monitor that better.

So, Friday afternoon I made the switch. Until Sunday night.

I had just given Tucker a bottle and we were sitting on the couch snuggling. All of a sudden he starts bobbing his head around, eventually landing on my boob. He was still hungry and wanted to nurse. Great. So, we tried it. No pain, no nipple shield, no problems. I had undone my decision.

Same thing happened last night. He had gotten a bottle and was still hungry, so while our company was holding him (thankfully she was a woman), he was looking for the boob. I took him to his room and he nursed for 10-12 minutes. Again, no pain or problems.

Here is where I'm at as of 7:20 am on this Tuesday morning. I'm just going to let Tucker take the lead. I'll be pumping and doing bottles all the time, but if he wants to nurse then he can nurse. I'm not going to force it, I'm not going to intentionally lose sleep over it. Whatever happens, happens.