Where I've Been

It's no secret that June and July were super busy for us. The first and biggest event was the cruise through Alaska that had us gone for 12 days. The very next weekend I had a 2-day bachelorette party. The next weekend was the 4th of July. The next weekend was the wedding. The next weekend was spent getting ready for the 4H fair. After that, things were supposed to get easier. Life was supposed to slow down and be less hectic. And it started too. We went camping the last weekend of July,  just the 3 of us, plus Diesel. We lounged as a family, went swimming at my moms, played on the playground, made smores and just spent time together.

And the entire weekend I kept doing stupid things and felt sick. Danny and I knew what was coming and sure enough it did. That following Monday, I had positive pregnancy test. A completely unplanned pregnancy test that was welcomed with open arms.

A week went by and the sickness kept coming in waves. We decided to tell our parents the next weekend due to Danny's mom getting asked to watch another child. We told our parents, then celebrated our anniversary the same night. That weekend I experienced some bleeding. Nothing major and nothing more than what I experienced with my first pregnancy. When it didn't let up, I decided to call the doctor and to see what was going on.

She ordered blood work to get done on Monday, results would be in Tuesday and then I'd go in for an ultrasound Thursday. Results indicated my progesterone was low, so she called in a prescription for that and we would know more Thursday. We had an ultrasound Thursday morning, the day after our 4th wedding anniversary, and got the news I just had a feeling we would get. The nurse asked if I felt pregnant still and my honest answer was no. I didn't feel sick anymore and my boobs quit hurting. I was still making silly mistakes, but that was because I was worried. She told us she would be open and honest about what she saw during the ultrasound. Which was something, but it wasn't a baby.

The doctor explained to us that what needed to happen didn't look like it was going to happen. She was about 99% sure I was going to have a miscarriage and explained our options, but wanted to wait another week to be sure. So, for another week, I just acted like I was pregnant. We told our parents the news and that there probably wasn't going to be another baby, but I still did everything a pregnant woman should do to have a healthy pregnancy. I took my vitamins, I didn't drink coffee and I took evening walks. I even felt sick like a pregnant woman should and the bleeding stopped. I was in the middle of a sick mind game. Thursday and Friday, and even some of Saturday, was spent lost in a Desperate Housewives marathon to distract myself.

We went back the next Thursday. No progress was made and the surgery was scheduled for following Monday. I didn't want to go through the miscarriage naturally. It could have taken days, or weeks. I had already waited a week and that was hard enough. I don't do well with waiting. Again, another Thursday and Friday spent lost in a Desperate Housewives marathon.

The surgery was physically easy. Before was tough mentally and emotionally, but thanks to the drugs I was okay after. But it was a pretty shitty start to a birthday week.

I am finally to the point where I feel like I can get back into the swing of things. I just didn't feel like doing anything more than what I had too. Our house got dirty, meals were a lot of take out, laundry piled up and taking care of Tucker was about the most I ever did. Work was a joke, which is to be expected when you only work 2.5 days a week 3 weeks in a row.

But, things are getting better. I still think about what life would be like if I were still pregnant. I expect March to be a difficult month since that is when the baby would have been born.

So, that is where I have been. I wasn't sure I was going to share this on the blog, but not sharing it felt like I was acting like it didn't happen. And I didn't want to do that. It happened. And it happens to a lot of people and you just don't know that it happens. You feel like you're alone and you shouldn't. Once you share your story, you soon learn that you know more women that you think that have had a miscarriage. At least that's how it happened for me.

Weekend Recap - My Mom's Birthday!

Erin tries to start blogging, take 4.

I've decided that enough is enough when it comes to not writing and documenting my life. A lot has happened, and is going to continue to happen, that I want to remember.  I've slipped out of some of my better habits and have lost a little bit of me along the way. I'm planning on getting into that a little bit more later this week. Yes, I'm planning on blogging more than just once this week, or month even. It's time.

What better way to get back into it than with a good old fashioned weekend recap!

Today is my mom's 50th birthday! The weekend was all about her! Seriously, from Thursday night until yesterday afternoon, my time was almost exclusively dedicated to making sure her day was celebrated. My brother and I threw her a surprise party! Friday after work, I started cooking and didn't really stop until about 12am. The menu for the party consisted of ham sliders (108 of them), the easiest pasta salad ever (4 large bowls), cheese dip, meatballs, fruit & veggie tray, and cake. Plus beer and apple-ritas. I made all of the pasta salad and assembled the sliders Friday night as well as put her actual gift together.

Saturday was spent running around from about 9:30-3. Tuck and I went to pick up the fruit and veggie trays, then delivered sliders to my brother's house for his girlfriend to bake and cheese dip ingredients for them to throw into the crock pot. Danny's mom also baked some sliders for me (bless that woman). We also borrowed some coolers from family members and a friend. After that, it was time to pick up the cake, get the beer, and buy cupcakes because I was too cheap to have the cake baker make cupcakes too. I had a splitting headache that had migraine potential. This was after I had already had 2 cups of coffee that morning. Nothing a little diet Mountain Dew and some Excedrin can't fix!

I beat feet home, decorated, baked my sliders, then got ready. As I had one layer of hair left to curl and about 20 minute left before Danny's mom would be there to help me finish setting up, which was also 10 minutes before we needed to leave to meet my mom at my brothers,  Danny yells, "there is a white Buick in the drive." Grandma. Always, always, always so super early. Got her situated, finished getting ready, then got everything sort of set up. We left to meet my mom at the time we were supposed to meet her. Drew wasn't even back from delivering their food and ice to my house yet! Thankfully, we're all usually late so she suspected nothing.

We get to my brother's and I "realize" I left Tucker's diaper bag at home. This excuse was planned for months. We take the long way back to our house so she doesn't see the signs pointing her friends in the direction of the party. We pull up to our drive and my mom is in shock yelling, "what did you guys do?!" It was so great. She had high school friends(one drove from 4 hours away), new and old work friends (who live an hour away), Drew and I's friends. Everyone was standing in the driveway waiting to greet her.

 

A friend of mine snapped a few pictures of my little stud. Love those baby blues!

After eating, drinking and socializing for about 5 hours, everyone headed home. We were inside and in bed by 11:30. Seriously, this was an ideal party!

Sunday morning, we got to sleep in a bit since Tucker pretty much demanded to go home with Danny's mom. My mom and I ate leftover cake and ham sliders for breakfast and drank coffee while she enjoyed her last gift. Drew and I asked her friends and family to write her letters. Some were from people who came to the party, her CREW girls, others were from old high school friends that she hasn't seen or talked to in a while. And Drew, Megan and I. Danny wrote one but hasn't been able to print it.

We spent the rest of the day walking around a local festival, continuing to eat extremely bad. When we got home we were all exhausted, but Danny, Tucker and I went to the high school to walk(Tuck and me) and run (Danny). Next was dinner (more ham sliders and pasta salad) then bath and bed for the little man. I wasn't too far behind him either.

It was a great weekend and my mom deserved every minute of hard work. Even if I am still exhausted!

Happy birthday, Mom! I love you!

4 years

On this day 4 years ago, I married my best friend and love of my life.

In those 4 years, we've gone through the big things: both of us graduating college, getting through the first year of marriage, buying a house together, experiencing the for richer, for poorer when my family business almost crumbled, having a baby, and doing the in sickness and in health thing when Danny broke his foot.

But what I noticed when I was looking for pictures to make the a collage for the obligatory anniversary post on all forms of social media, the "little" things are where the magic happens. The little moments in between all the big moments.

1. Top Left: Indianapolis Indians game. I vividly remember Danny telling me the first summer we started dating that he would rather watch paint dry than watch a baseball game. A trip to St. Louis and me begging to go to a Cardinals game changed his mind. We haven't been to a baseball game in 2 years, but for Danny Summers to enjoy baseball says a lot!

2. Top Right: Mother's Day 2013. We were at Hooter's with my mom and brother. Dinner at Hooters was Danny's idea. Even though I wasn't officially a mother yet, Danny acknowledged the day with a  card. He usually did with Diesel anyways, but he made sure this day was recognized. It was also that in between time when you find out your pregnant but you can't tell anyone yet. My mom and brother knew, but the news hadn't been made public yet.

3. Bottom Left: Tiger Trot 5K in 2014.  I used to despise running. I never understood why people ran for fun. Growing up as an athlete, running was usually a form of punishment. Missed free throws? Run suicides. Other team serves an ace against you: run stairs. Strike out looking: run around the field outsid the fence. But after watching Danny complete the Tiger Trot in 2013 and seeing how great he felt about himself, I had to give it a try.

4. Bottom Right: Our camper. Danny and I don't share many hobbies. He likes to shoot guns and fish while I like to shop and drink wine. But this year we made a purchase that allows us to do something together as a family. Danny can fish during the day and I can drink wine (or rum or beer) during the day AND night. Ha!

There is no one I'd rather share the big and little moments with.

Weekend Recap

Hey, look who is blogging on a Monday and not just on the last Wednesday of the month for What's Up Wednesday?! It's time for a weekend recap!

Friday evening Tucker and I had plans to go eat with my mom, her brother, Drew and his girlfriend. My uncle is in town for his annual visit and we like to get together with him a few times while he's here. After stuffing ourselves with some Mexican food, we headed out to Drew's for a bit. Once it was past Tuck's bedtime, we headed home. Danny was working Friday, so after Tucker went to sleep I finished watching Season 5 of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix while I ate some popsicles. I felt like a 13 year old.

Saturday was spent mostly running around. Danny needed a haircut and I needed a few things from Target and before we knew it we were all hungry for lunch. After we ate lunch, we went to visit Danny's dad then headed to a birthday party for Danny's brother and nephew. I cannot believe our nephew is 15 and is now starting high school today! We left the party to get ready for our date! Our 4th wedding anniversary is on Wednesday, so we wanted to go out to celebrate over the weekend.  My mom got us a gift certificate to The Journey for Christmas, so we used that. It was SOOOO good! this is Danny's first plate.

It was nice to go out and enjoy dinner just the two of us. We went to bed shortly after we got home. We were beat from running around all day!

Sunday was just as busy for Tuck and me. Danny didn't have to work, but after church he had shooting plans with some friends. While he did that, Tucker and I went to Target again and to the grocery store. After a quick lunch, we went to get ice cream with my mom and her brother, sister and great-niece. Then I made my easy BBQ ribs since they were on sale last week along with some twice baked potato casserole. Danny said I cheated and its really "once microwaved and once baked potato casserole" but whatever. Who has time to bake potatoes for an hour THEN assemble. No. Just microwave them and go about your business. We went on our nightly walk and then I fell asleep putting Tucker to bed. I then proceeded to get up and eat a ton of ice cream since apparently one sundae (okay, I ate most of Tucker's too) wasn't enough.

It was a busy weekend, Not quite like the past 3 months have been, but still busy!

What's Up Wednesday

I'm not sure where July went. Or if I even remember how to write a blog post. But! I'm going to make my best effort to get back into it. After we got back from vacation, we had something going on. Every. Single. Weekend! It was usually something both days. Or a something that lasted both days. Like a bachelorette party(I survived) or a wedding. While it was nice taking a break from writing about all of that stuff, I didn't document any of it. Heck, I still haven't documented our vacation! July is a busy time for me work wise. I had multiple meetings every week that required me to leave first thing in the morning and then the following day was spent playing catch up, both types of days left no time for blogging. But, here I am, for What's Up Wednesday!

 

What we're eating...

Still Whole30'ing the best we can. And it's still as exhausting as I remember it. I'm packing breakfast and lunch for Danny still, but I told him no way Jose on bringing him dinner to work. We eat Whole30 dinners for the most part as well. I also eat grains and SOME dairy in moderation though. I guess you could call it Paleo-ish? We're eating really well though!

 

What I'm reminiscing about...

Still reminiscing about our wedding, but not because its wedding season like last month. It's because our anniversary is next Wednesday. We look like babies! I can't believe next week I'll be married to this hunk for 4 years!

 

What I'm loving...

We've been taking family walks after dinner around our neighborhood. We've lived in our house for almost 3 years and have walked around the neighborhood more in the last 2 weeks than we have in the 3 years. I've always been hesitant because there are dogs that we don't know and that scares me a little. We've walked more than a few times and are still alive, so I guess I'll keep walking.

 

What we've been up to...

Oh gosh. Let's see... we were in a wedding on the 11th which was loads of fun! I paid for it dearly the next TWO days. Fair week was last week, so we were out there a little bit. Then we went camping last weekend, just the 4 of us (Danny, Tuck, Diesel and me) so that was a lot of fun. It was a nice way to end the summer madness, which is the best way to describe May, June and July.

 

What I'm dreading...

Still haven't gotten our kitchen repainted. I'm thinking about bribing my brother-in-law with some money and Budweiser. Or his friend that accepts payment in the same form. I think that's the only way its going to get done. Also, potty training. It's upon us and he's just about ready to really get after it.

 

What I'm working on...

getting my house back in order from vacation, construction, busy time at work and having a toddler.

 

What I'm excited about...

My birthday. If you've been around for a while, you know I love birthdays. If you're new, I LOVE BIRTHDAYS! Mine, yours, my child's, my husband's, my mom's... Love them. Everyone deserves a day for themselves. I plan to not work on my birthday and have a "Me" day.

 

What I'm watching/reading...

Pretty Little Liars. Since we cut cable and our entertainment lives are living off of Netflix and Hulu, I've missed PLL. While working on program fans for the wedding we were in, I discovered that whole season 5 of PLL was on Netflix. I had to stop in the middle of season 5 due to the cutting of cable (worth it though!) so this has been exciting!

 

What I'm listening too...

NOTHING! Other than my fingers hitting the keyboard, there is no sound in my office.

 

What I'm wearing...

Some Sperry's flip flops that my mom gave me. It's no secret that I love Sperry's footwear. Here is the story about how I got my moms. For the wedding we were in, the girls wore cowboy boots. After the reception festivities were over, we all wanted to change into flip flops. One of the irresponsible bridesmaids left hers in her car, so I offered my Sperry flip flops to her so she could go get hers out of her car, which was quite a ways away from the bride's brother's house where the reception was. I went outside to party and just assumed she would put them back on my bag that she watched me pull them out of. About an hour and a half later, after my mom had driven off in my car, she informs me that she set them ON my car. One shoe survived the drive, the other did not. I still haven't pitched the remaining shoe in hopes that the other one will magically turn up. My mom knows my love for these flip flops and gave me a pair that she had that she doesn't wear. Bless her.

 

What I'm doing this weekend...

Saturday morning I'm hoping to get a long walk in at the park with Tucker so I can exercise and he can nap. Then we have a birthday party for my brother-in-law and nephew. Sunday I really hope we can go swimming.

 

What I'm looking forward to next month...

My birthday is on the 21st, so obviously that. Other than a wedding and my niece's birthday, we don't have anything going on. We'll hopefully go camping the weekend of my birthday since I share a birthday weekend with a fellow camping friend. Just have to find somewhere for all of us to go since our usual spot is flooded and closed until who knows when. They don't even know when!

 

What else is new...

Not much really.

 

What I'm going to miss about summer...

swimming. We actually had time and were able to swim some this summer. My mom's apartment complex has a pool that I've taken advantage of this year. Even though we've only gone 3 times, that's 3 more times than I went the last 2 year combined. It's sad really.